


Hell at Boot Camp 2

by AlexanderTemple



Series: Hell at Boot Camp [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Adoption, Age Regression/De-Aging, Bootcamp, Child Abandonment, Child Abuse, Diapers, Discipline, child trafficking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:15:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21569770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexanderTemple/pseuds/AlexanderTemple
Summary: It's advised to read "Hell at Boot Camp " first.There is a growing trend in the United States to send a troubled child or teen to a discipline camp. This story follows the experience of a young girl at one of these camps, the worse of its kind. The experiences she has are similar to many that some have had in reality. This is a story of abuse and the need for strength and hope. It could upset some people.Hell at Boot Camp 2 follows the story of Heidi, who is sent back to camp, where they have special plans for her. Will she find happiness?
Series: Hell at Boot Camp [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1537009
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8





	1. Back at RAD

**This is the second book of ”Hell at Boot Camp” Series. Look at my profile to read the first book, which is the first part of this.**

I told mom that I hated her and said that everything I said about the camp. Mom stood there for an hour telling me she did not believe me and why could I not just be normal? I sat on my bed and swayed back and forth, even when it went quiet. I fell asleep crying and afraid.

The next day there was a knock at the door. It was a man's voice. I said I was not coming out. Then the man informed me I can do this the hard way or the easy way.

I chose to stay sitting on my bed.

Then there were some noises as they were picking the lock on my door. The door opened and two men came in. I could see mom standing behind them.

"Heidi," one man said, "We are here to take you to RAD. This time it is serious. Your mother has given us full custody of you. There is one thing for certain, you are coming. Now get up and let's go to the van"

I screamed and shouted that I did not want to go. I kicked when they came close to me and punched as much while I was calling every them every name in the book. Mom asked them do they not see what she has to deal with? This made me stop as I was so confused. I told them to take mom, as she needed the camp more.

In the end, they had me restrained. They put handcuffs on me and said that it was normal.

I cried as I realized that I was going back to RAD.

I was dragged out to a van and pushed in the back seat. I asked if the handcuffs could be taken off. The man beside me just laughed and said that I was not so rebellious now. He told me that for my safety sake, the handcuffs remained on. On top of that, he put this black bag over my head, I was in darkness as I heard the van driver and the men laugh and talk with each other.

We were driving for ages, and it was torture seeing black and nothing else. It did not help that we seemed like we were driving to the other side of the world. At first, I pretended to be blind. This made me realize that I was so lucky that I could see. Then I started sobbing as the two men could not see me crying. I escaped this camp one before and now mom has decided to send me back. I tried the best when I was at home. What did she expect me to be? A saint? Now I was on the road again to the camp. The General would be waiting for me with his hikes and punishments. I put up a fight the last time I was there. Tears were rolling down my cheeks thinking that I did not want to go through that again.

The van finally stopped. I got out and was led to the office where the general was waiting for me, He was standing up and smiling saying that he knew I would be back. I started cursing at him to let me go home.

”I do not want to be here” I started, ” I want to go home. Why would I want to stay here? You are a mean man that just likes torturing children. You don't care if we are good or not. You get your kicks from seeing us cry. You think that taking me on a hike will make me into a good girl. You are not a general. You are just a moron. You cant see that I am already a good girl!. So you can get off your high horse and send me home!”

I looked at the general as he tapped his finger on the desk. I expected him to tell me that I would be put in some cage or maybe this time punishment would be to crucify me. The general just smiled and said that it was time for inspection. Maybe the old man was getting soft.

I should have not even thought of him getting soft.

He gave the same speech as he did when I was stuck here the first time. We were all bad children and had nothing to offer society. He would break us down and build us up again as someone our parents would be proud of. I wanted to say that this was not true. I passed his program and my mother was not proud of me. She sent me back!

Then the general stood before me. ”This girl is only 12 years old. She has not even started puberty and yet she is a bad apple. She thinks she is God's gift to society and does not realize that she is a thorn to society. This little girl needs to get her act together. She is not a good girl. She is not a woman. In fact, she needs to wear diapers at her age!”

I was so embarrassed when he said that I had to wear diapers. It was his fault that I wore them, His punishments have done things with my bladder so that I could not control it.

The general was not done, he looked in my face and spat as he shouted, ”THERE IS NO HOPE FOR YOU. YOU ARE BACK AT RAD BECAUSE YOUR MOTHER NO LONGER WANTS YOU. WHAT DID YOU DO THAT YOUR MOTHER DOES NOT EVEN LOVE YOU ANYMORE. I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU THAT WILL REMIND YOU THAT NO ONE LOVES YOU!”

I was now in tears. It was hard hearing that my mother did not love me. The fact was that I believed him. Why else would she send me back to this mad man in handcuffs? They were still on me, and I felt like such a criminal.

My humiliation was not over yet. The General placed a dog collar around my neck. This took away what humanity I had and made me feel like I was the camp's pet! It must have been the generals revenge for the outburst I had earlier.

Of course, the next thing we had to do was to go on a hike up the hill. I was told that I would be doing it in handcuffs. This was no easy feat. It meant that it was hard for me to balance myself and climb over rocks. We were not allowed any water and the sun was pounding on us. The dog collar around me felt like it was choking me. I do not know how many times I slipped and plummeted to the rocky ground. I was covered with cuts and sores.

I tried thinking about the first time that I went up this hill. Noah was my only friend at the camp and I remembered how he supported me. Why did he have to run away and leave me here? I started crying when I thought of Noah. It was him that phoned me when I was home. He sounded like he was afraid and that he needed help. I was so confused. Where was Noah? Was he in danger? The fact was that I could not help him while I was stuck in this camp.

I survived the hike, but a girl a small bit older than me collapsed when we came back to camp. The other children shouted that she fell down and she did not look all that well. The general said that she was faking it. I looked at her, and she did not look like she was faking anything. The General was smiling as he finally took the handcuffs off of me. He told me that the dog collar stayed on. I gave him one of the worse looks I could,

The little girl was still laying on the ground when we went in to eat. I could see outside the window that the nurse came and started taking care of the girl. It reminded me of my first day at the camp, where the general made me lay down in the hot sun. I could see that they put the girl on a stretcher and took her to the nurse's office.

After we ate the slop that the camp gave us, the general told me in a high voice that I should go to the nurse to get my diaper changed. He was laughing and asking the other Children who wore diapers when they were 12 years old? The other children also seemed to think it was funny. One thing was the pain of being punished by long hikes and whatnot, but words, laughter, and humiliation were worse. I lowered my head in shame as I walked past everyone that was laughing.

As I walked into the nurse, I saw the girl laying on the stretcher. She did not look so good.

The nurse remembered me from the last time I was at camp. She was surprised that I was still in diapers. Then she gave a long speech that my mom should have had patience with me and help me get out of the nappies. I just looked up at her and said nothing. My mother did lots of bad things, and not helping me out of diapers was not the worse. As the nurse was about to change me, she heard the general calling her. She told me to wait here until she got back. She put a pacifier in my mouth, which I immediately spit out.

I could hear a lot of commotion and at one stage I could through the window a van parking outside. The girl on the stretcher was rolled on the van. I thought this was weird. Why was the van not an ambulance? At least it was good the girl was going to the hospital

The nurse came back and helped me change as if nothing happened. She was disappointed that I spit out the pacifier. I had to remind her of my age.

The next day at the inspection, the general told us that the girl was faking that she fainted after the hike. He said she fooled the staff as she was taken to the nurse's office. Then the general told us that she escaped from the camp during the night. The other children looked worried as the general told them that the camp was in the middle of nowhere. He warned them that they would starve and there were wild animals everywhere.

After inspection, it was time to do some chores. I was back in the small garden. Gardening was not a punishment, but it gave me lots of time to think. I thought this girl. I did not believe that she ran away. I saw her on the stretcher and she looked very bad. She did not look like she could even open her eyes, nevermind get off the stretcher and run away. The fact also was that she was put in a van. Unlike the other children, I have seen this myself. Was if she was alive or not!

It was like Noah! They said he ran away. Yet before I was forced to come back, he rang to me on the telephone and asked for my help. He told me he was being sold!

I was picking up weeds as I thought what was happening here. I was never punished so much in my life. I was never humiliated so much in my life! The only thing I have learned from this camp was to hate the general and especially my mother! I felt the collar on my neck and thought that no child should get this treatment. I was only 12 years old, but even I could see that it was abuse.

I decided to do something about it.

Just as I was thinking of what to do, the General stood there. I don't know why, but my body started shaking as he was standing there.

” You have been very quiet since you came here.” he said, ”You have not answered back or been cheeky. You did not even complain when I told everyone you needed a diaper! You did not even complain when I put a collar on you.”

” I just want to get the 60 points and go home.” I replied.

The general told me to sit next to him. He was now scarier than ever because he was not yelling. He even put his arm around me as if he was my grandfather. He told me that I could get 600 points, but I was stuck here. He explained that my mother signed custody of me over to the camp. I had no clue what this meant but was quickly told that my mother no longer wanted me.

Words can hurt so much and the general left me crying. I sat there thinking and crying that I was now his property. Again the question I had was what did I do to deserve this?

I walked around the camp. The camp staff could punish me all they wanted to. They would have to catch me. I was lucky that I found a hole in the fence behind some fences. I sat next to the whole for 20 minutes and thought about everything. Did I want to escape? Could I survive the wild animals and would I be lost? There was only one answer. Anything would be better than being in the camp.

I crawled through the hole.

Freedom!

I ran and ran as quick as I could. I quickly found the road and ran as far away from the camp as I could. My heart lept at every sound I could hear or every time I could see a shadow, I was afraid that some wild animal would jump out. This only made me run quicker until I no longer could run.

Despite that I was afraid, I must admit that I never felt so good than I did then. I was free! I was free of my mom and the general. I did not know what would happen to me, but I could feel already that my life was much better, Freedom was the best feeling I ever had.

Freedom was also short-lived. When I looked behind me, I could see the van I seen the day earlier slowly driving after me. I started running quicker but it did not help.

Two men got out of the van and before I knew it, I had handcuffs on once again as they put me in the back of the van.

I shouted at them that when I got back to camp, I would just run away again.

The man laughed and said that I was not going back to camp!

**To be continued**

_**Share and comment. You can also follow me to get notifications when I update. I love keeping in contact with people that comment or follow me. Thank you – Alexander Temple** _


	2. The Daughter he always wanted

I tried to escape but was captured by the two men that had me in the back of the van. When I told them that I would escape as soon as I could. They just smiled and said that I was not going back to RAD. I just sat in the corner of the van wondering what would happen to me. One of the men was staring at me. I thought that I could appeal to his kind side and maybe make him understand things so I could be set free.

“ I am not a bad girl.” I started.

“ I know. I was told,” he replied. This answer surprised me somewhat as the general kept telling us that we were the scum of the earth. I looked at him with the best puppy eyes I could and tried to reason with him that if I was not a bad girl, he could set me free. This just made him smile and say that I was a special girl and chosen for special things,

Needless to say, that answer confused me more, so I stopped talking with him. The van had no seats in the back, so I was sitting on the floor and could feel every bump on the road. We were driving for hours and it was getting dark outside. Once in a while, I would ask if we were soon there and the man would say no. I was now sleepy and asked could he take off the handcuffs so I could sleep. The man agreed to do this.

So I slept in the back of the van. When I woke up we were still driving. I figured we were on the other side of the world. I looked out the window and could see we were finally stopping. We were stopped outside a huge warehouse. The only thing I noticed was that it was bricks and there were bars on the windows. I was led inside. I could hardly walk as I was sitting in that van for a bit less than a day!

I was led in and put in a cell. It was just like a cell you see on TV when someone was forced to be in jail. The man said this would be my new home for a while. They left me and I looked around. There was nothing except a bed hanging down from the wall. Then there was a sink in the corner. The first thing I did was to drink some water from the tap. I was so thirsty and hungry. After I drank more than I could, then I just sat in the corner.

There was absolutely nothing to do in that cell. I just stared at the walls and bars and looked at the light coming through the window high up. I found that if I laid on the bed and closed my eyes, I could use my imagination and pretend I was at school or doing the garden. I was sure all this boredom was meant to break me or make me go crazy. I would not let this happen. The general tried to punish me in every way possible and screw with my mind. I survived until now.

It helped when the nurse came. She came with some food and drink or she came into the room to change my diaper. I tried talking with her, but she said that she was not allowed to speak with me. The only time she talked was to tell me to sit on the potty if I did not have to pee, as I still had control there. Another time I asked why the drinks were always in a baby bottle. She answered so it would not spill. Once she gave me a pacifier so I had something to do.

I never got mad at her, as she was the only human contact I had. I even used the pacifier as I thought sucking on it would pass the time away. I could feel that time was going by slowly and I knew that I was slowly going out of my mind. Being alone for most of the time in a confined space with nothing to do was making my mind race and I was becoming more and crazier. I felt like I was breaking. After all, I would never have used a baby's pacifier or used a baby's bottle before this cell. I most definitely never spoke with myself.

When I was about to give up all hope, the nurse came and told me we were going for a walk. I was so happy and giddy that I was finally out of the cell, and talked non stop to the nurse promising that I would be good. She put me in a bathtub and helped me take a bath. I could have done it myself, but I did not want to be alone! After I took a much-needed bath, she brushed my hair and put them in pigtails. A new diaper was put on me and a nightdress.

I was led to an office where the general was. I just stood there as he was writing on his laptop. After some time, he told me that he had something to show me. I looked at the laptop and it was a video of me crawling through the fence. The general then told me that no one knows that I was here. Everyone was told that I ran away and I could not be found.

“When we told your mother, she told us she did not have time to discuss it as she was babysitting her new boyfriend's young daughter. The only thing she said was to let her know if you were found.”

I had to agree with the general when he told me that it did not sound like my mother cared. I noticed she said _if_ I was found and not _when_ I was found. I did not tell the general my thoughts and just stared at him with a blank face.

“RAD has been trying to break that spirit you have and so far you have fought us all the way. You do not know that children are like wild horses. They can be tamed. I promised that you would be tamed. Now I will ask you... do you feel like you will comply with us? Will you comply with the program?”

I just looked at him with a blank face and did not answer him. This seemed to make him mad as he demanded an answer. Would I comply or not? I just looked at him as if he was talking double dutch. I almost felt like laughing as I could see his face get red and redder and it nearly looked like there was steam coming out of his ears.

He told the nurse to put me in the hole. I smiled at him and told him that this was a new abuse and way to torture me. He screamed for me to get out.

I was put back in the cell, but the had the window at the top closed and it was covered. So no light or fresh air came in. I was now in total blindness. At the beginning of this punishment, I had the courage and thought that I had the strength to endure more punishment. Like before, I was totally alone and only had visits when the nurse came with food or to change me.

After a day or so, I was a wreck. I would sit on the floor in a corner terrified as I always hated the dark. I would think that I saw monsters in every corner. I swayed myself back and forth as I tried to keep on to my sanity.

At one stage, I stood up and screamed that this was abuse. I took off my diaper and shouted that I was nearly a teenager, and not a baby. After this outburst, I sat back in the corner and was pleased with myself. Taking the diaper off bought back some pride that I have lost and made me feel in control. Unfortunately, this was short-lived as a few hours later, I wet my clothes. I did not even know that I needed to pee. It just happened. This ordeal made me cry as I continued to sway back and forth.

The nurse explained that I have been wearing diapers so long, that my bladder now had no control. I would need to train it again.

Shortly after the general appeared at the cell. He sat down next to me and was not even mad. He told me he always hated this punishment as being alone in the dark was very hard. I was crying as I could not take any more punishment. The general could see this and put his arm around me.

“I am sorry,” he started, “Since you and I met, I have been very mean to you. I have punished you in so many ways and you are right. It was abuse and torture. I hope that you can forgive me. Let's turn a new leaf and try again. I will not punish you anymore. I will treat you like I would treat my own daughter. Will you give me another chance, and we could make the rest of your stay here as good as possible.”

I was shocked and this sudden apology and promise to be nice made me cry more. I do not know why I did it, but I hugged the general and told him we could try. He then told me that he would take me to a new room.

The new room looked like any girl's room. It had a nice bed and a dresser. The only thing that was odd was that the toys were toddler toys. He asked me if I wanted to sleep in this room. I nodded as anything was better than the dark cell.

The new room was much better, There was even a tv where I could see cartoons. I used a lot of my time watching TV or playing with the toys. I nearly forgot how I used to play with dolls or blocks, but it all came back to me. The general visited me a lot and he was no longer the evil man that he was until now. He would speak with me and even sit on the floor and play with the dolls with me. I no longer was crying. The general even told me that I had a nice smile and he loved it when I laughed.

I asked the general where we were. He told me that he could not tell me that. We were far away from the world that I knew.

I also asked him when I could go home. The general smiled and told me that he had to make sure that my mom wanted me. He told me that he was very doubtful and it would take some more time to find out. If she did not want me, he had an alternative plan. He could not tell me what it was, as I needed more time to adjust. However, he promised me that it would be me that decided if I went home or wanted to do the alternative plan.

The general promised me that I would never go back to RAD.

He even came with a present one day. It was a teddy bear. When he gave it to me, he said that over the last few days, he enjoyed his time with me. He even considered me as if I was his daughter. In fact, he said that he always wanted a daughter like me!

That night I cried in bed. Sure my life was better now. I was not being tortured or abused. I was not that stupid either. Was the general's new form for kindness a form of abuse. Was he really being kind or was he just being kind to screw with my mind? Deep down I thought his kindness was no act.

I think I was crying because I knew that I was finally broken. Sure my body survived the abuse. Did my mind survive? I considered myself broken because I felt unwanted by my own mother and my future was unknown

Was there any hope?

_**To be continued** _

_**Share and comment. You can also follow me to get notifications when I update. I love keeping in contact with people that comment or follow me. Thank you – Alexander Temple** _


	3. Noah

Despite being locked up in a room where I had no idea where I was and wondering what my future would be like, I was mostly happy. I tried to forget about my friends at home and my mother. I was afraid that if I did remember them, then I would start crying and could not stop. I figured it was better for me to accept things as they were. I could not fight the general and it was important that I kept him happy and kind. I did not want to go back to being tortured and punished.

The general was still very nice. It was like he was a different man than the one that I knew at RAD. He did not want to make my life hell. He talked to me and saw cartoons with me. We would laugh and joke. I did not know why he suddenly was Mr. Nice, but it did help the time go by.

One day he told me that I was so negative when he first met me. I had too much self esteem and confidence. Now it was good to see that those were gone and I have accepted my destiny. I was confused. Were self-esteem and confidence not a good thing? Did he just want me to be submissive? The fact is that I was now living to survive each day and hope each day would be fun. I did not know my future and in a way, I did not want to know it.

The General said it was time for the next step in my program. I was to get a new room to be in. This sort of made me sad, as I had some fun times in this room. I held the general's hand as we walked to the other side of the warehouse. I expected to see the other children that ran away, but the place was empty and mostly looked old and dark.

I got a shock when I saw the new room. It was a nursery! There were a bed and a big crib. There was also a changing table and a playpen. There were lots of teddys and baby toys. The general told me this would be the last room that I would sleep in while I was here.

The nurse came and changed my diaper and put on what looked like a toddler dress. She gave me a bottle of milk and told me that I would be sleeping in the crib.

When she went, I looked around. Why would I be sleeping in a crib when there was a fine bed in the room? Why was I being treated more and more like a baby every day? I decided not to think so much about it. If I protested, I would be put back in the cell or someplace just as bad. One thing I have learned was to make the best out of the situation I was in.

I sat down on the floor and started playing with some blocks that were there. I tried to make a tower that was very big. I remember that I did this when I was a toddler and I was much better than I was at the moment. Still, within no time, I was having fun and it was like time stood still. It's amazing that small wooden blocks could be so fun!

The door opened and it was the General with Noah. He was the boy that befriended me when I first went to RAD until we were all told that he ran away and could not be found. Now he was here. I got to my feet and went to give him a hug. He did not really respond and just stood there like a zombie. This surprised me a bit, as he was my only friend at RAD, and possibly the best friend in the world. Why did he not seem happy to see me?

When the general went, Noah sat down in the middle of the floor. He did not play or anything. He just stared at the wall with a blank stare. I figured that the general broken Noah down so much, that he lost what spirit he had and was now as a zombie. This was sad to look at. I remember when Noah was full of life and hope. Now, this was gone.

I tried speaking with him and told him how I got here. I told how the general punished me all the time and then I ran away from the camp. I was caught and now I was here. I held Noah's hand as I told him that the general was very nice now and spent a lot of time just being with me.

We were getting used to the new room during the next few days. I would sleep in a crib and then my diaper would be changed several times a day. I always had a pacifier in my mouth or was drinking from a baby's bottle. I dressed like a toddler and played like one. For some reason, I accepted that it was best that I was treated like a toddler. I was convinced that I was happier living the life of a toddler. I never really considered that a few months ago. I would have been so mad at the thought of someone treated me as a toddler. I would never have accepted it. I must have changed a lot because as every day that went by, I was becoming more and more like a toddler. I was also thinking and acting more and more like one.

Noah was very quiet at the start. He would just stare at the wall and never say a word. As the days went by, he started to speak a bit more and even smile. He thought that playing with baby toys were boring, but he mumbled that someone should take care of me. He did not tease me that I basically acted and dressed like a baby. He slowly took on the role of a bigger brother. So after a week, he was like the way he was and yet he was different. He was more subdued now and it was like he needed the general. This was a far cry from the Noah that I first met, that wanted to escape and hated everything to do with the camp.

After a week, he told me that he was happy to see me. This made me laugh but I suppose its better hearing it late than never at all. Noah told me that he did not escape. If he did escape, he would have taken me with him. He was sleeping in his small tent when the two men dragged him out and put him in a van. He was brought to the warehouse where they continued punishing him and torturing him. There were tears in his eyes when he said that a body could only deal with so much. After a few weeks, he felt like he was just a shell. It was as if his soul was destroyed.

The worse thing he said is when he found out that his mother signed over custody of him to the general. The general was now his guardian. He was now in tears when he said that it is hard for any child to know that their mother no longer wants them!

The general visited us one day and told me that he had a confession. They put a small speaker in the crib that was turned on when I slept. The speaker kept on reminding me that I was like a baby and would be happy being a baby. I thought this was a strange thing to do, but the general explained that it was called subliminal messaging. The non-stop chatter from the speaker had sunk in my brain and helped me accept my new situation.

I should have been mad at the general, but the fact was that I did feel happy and I did not mind that I was being regressed to a baby. I did not consider if the general tricked me. I just shrugged my shoulder and accepted that this was what I have become and that I was happy.

Noah was confused. When the general went, he asked me did I not even worry why the general wanted me to act and dress like a baby? He reminded me that no girl of my age would accept it. Then he sighed and asked what was happening to us?

That night, I had a strange dream. I was back at school. We were talking about music and boys and how much we hated homework. After school, we went to the mall and looked at some clothes. I really liked the short skirts and the belly tops and thought these would make me look like an adult. We hung around the mall for hours. One of the girls had a cigarette and wanted me to try it. I did not want to look like wimp so tried it and ended up coughing and choking.

Mom was mad when I came home, as I was late. After a bit, she calmed down and I sat on the floor in front of her while she brushed my hair and just chatting. She admitted that when she was a girl, she loved being at the mall and did things that her parents never approved of.

Then I woke up and I was in a small anxiety attack. This dream made me realize that I did love my mother, despite the fact that she seemed to have given up on me and sent me here. I tried to understand why she sent me to RAD. There was a possibility that she just did not know what to do and this was the only solution that she could think of. I tried to convince myself that she sent me here because she loved me and was worried about me. I started crying when I doubted very much that she was worried or even loved me.

It did not help that the general visited the next day. I was sitting on the floor drawing and Noah was taking a nap. The general sat down next to me and told me that he has information about mom. The general visited her and was surprised that most of their conversation was about her new boyfriend and her new stepdaughter. It was only before the general left that mom asked if I was found? She also wanted to know if she had to pay the camp fee because I could not be found.

The general hugged me and asked me if I thought my mom really loved me. He told me that she spoke mostly about her new family as if it was the perfect family and the family that she also wanted. The general mentioned that if she loved me, why would she so worried about the camp fees? Surely she should offer everything she owns that I would be found. The general was certain of one thing. Mom really did not care about me.

When the general went, I sat in the corner and said nothing. I really wanted to cry out loud. It was like that I had no tears left. The nurse came to change me and she even noticed that I was quiet. She told me that it was OK to be sad and at least the pacifier was comforting.

When she went Noah came and sat down next to me. “I heard what the general said. He said the same to me that my mother no longer loved me and no longer wants me. I would not trust the general too much. Do you know all the children that escape from the camp? They end up here. Sometimes I could hear other children. Sometimes they were in the room next to me. The question is where do they go?”

I looked at Noah and said that they most likely were sent home.

“I doubt that,” Noah continued, “Remember that I sneaked a phone call to you and told you we were being sold? I think the general tells all the children here that their parents no longer love them. Most likely, the parents thinks their children are dead. The general then could sell them to some strange factory that has child slaves or some mines.”

“That is foolish. The General has been so nice to us. He is like our parent. He will take care of us!”

“Heidi, you need to think and see reality. If the general loved you like a dad, why would he be slowly changing you to a baby? It is so weird that a girl your age has been regressed so that you are a baby in a big girl's body. If this does not make you think, then ask yourself why we have been locked in this warehouse for weeks. We have not even been allowed out to play and what about our education. If the general loves us, he would not keep us locked as prisoners!”

I did not want to discuss anymore. I told Noah that I needed a nap.

I had another strange dream. I was sent home, but my mother could not see me. It was like I was invisible. My friends came to visit me. They teased that my bedroom was a nursery and I had a diaper on and used a pacifier. They ignored me while they talked about boys, school and music. One girl tried asking me how I could let another person do this to me?

I woke up and Noah said the general was there. However, he forgot to lock the door.

I told Noah that he was right. I was becoming a baby and we were both prisoners. I told him that we had to escape. We could go to the police and tell them everything that happened. The worse thing that could happen would be that we would be sent to a foster home, but at least we should be free and we would be together.

Noah looked at me and told me that I could escape but he was staying here. He admitted that he was broken and had no energy to fight the system. He knew deep down that his mother did not want him and even if he escaped, who would take care of him and love him? No matter how much I tried to convince him, he refused. Noah was defeated and would accept what plans the general had.

I opened the door and peeked outside. There was no one to be seen. So I silently went through the hallways and looked for a way out. Everything looked like it was falling apart and old and it was like a maze. I did not give up hope and in the end, I found the door. Strange enough, that was not locked either.

I walked outside and took a deep breath of the fresh air and could feel the sun on my skin.

I should have run, but just stood there. Where would I go? Even if I did go to the police and was sent to a foster home, would they think I was some freak because I acted like a baby? Who would believe in all the things I experienced at camp and how the general made me a baby. How would I explain that I just let him and did not mind being regressed? I would never have a family that loved me or wanted me. A foster family would be paid to have me and they would think that I was one strange girl!

My mother no longer wanted me. She had her own family now and it was obvious that she did not want me. She thought I was lost in the wilderness around the camp and yet she did not even try to look for me.

I went back into the warehouse with a teary face. I snuck back to the bedroom. When I opened the door the general was waiting.

“You came back,” he said, “The program is finally done and a success. You and Noah are now ready”

_**To be continued** _

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	4. Sold to the highest parent

The general told me that he had to test us. If Noah or I escaped, then we were not ready yet and would have to continue with his programs. The fact that Noah did not want to escape and I ended up coming back showed him that we no longer were the rebels we once were. He was proud of us and promised us both that things would be much better from now on. He also promised us that he would tell us what would happen to us.

As soon as the general went, Noah told me that the door was still unlocked. The general knew that we had no place to go. I felt less like a prisoner and smiled. Noah was very emotional and gave me a hug saying that he was happy that I came back. It would have been hard for him to deal with the general's master plan if he was alone. Noah felt like he could deal with anything as long as I was there.

I felt the same. I remember when I was alone. The punishments were so hard and nearly unbearable. Things were much better now that Noah was there. We were in the same sinking boat together, and we knew how to support each other. Noah was more than my best friend. He was like a brother.

The general visited us the next day. He showed us newspaper articles. I read it and could see that Mom had an interview with a newspaper. She told the newspaper that I was a wild child and no one could control me. She explained that I was sent to RAD and the camp tried to teach me how to be good. They did not have time as I escaped. Despite that Mom never found my dead body, she told the newspaper that there was every indication that I died somewhere in the wilderness. She did not blame the camp as she thought they did as much as they could. When the journalist asked mom if she missed me she replied that life goes on. She still has a stepdaughter to take care of. She admitted that she loved this girl so much.

Noah read something similar about his mother. The general left when we read the newspaper and Noah and I just sat in silence. It was hard to read that mom did not even admit that she missed me. She loved her new stepdaughter more than the daughter she gave birth to. Did anyone care about me? If the journalist did his investigative duty, he would find out that there was no dead body found. He would also have to ask himself why several children went missing from the camp.

Maybe the Society did not care. Most people would think that we were sent to this camp because we were bad children and a threat against society. If we did not die, then people would think we would spend all our life in some prison. It was obvious that people did not care.

Noah broke the silence and said that the program we were on was finished and it was obvious that our families thought we were dead and did not care about us. Noah sighed and said that this means we will be finding out soon what was going to happen to us. We would probably be sent to some mine, and have to hammer rocks for the rest of our lives.

Then Noah broke down to tears and said that it was hard thinking that no one wanted him or even loved him. He felt so alone and was wondering what did he ever do to deserve not being wanted. I gave him a hug and said that we would be together. I did not see him as a bad boy and loved him as a brother. This made him cry more, but Noah said that he was crying out of happiness. The fact that I wanted him showed him that there was hope.

The nurse came in later that day to change me, As she was changing me, she took a huge needle and injected something in me. She explained that this injection would finish my regression as it would change the way that my body worked. She did not tell me what this meant but promised me that this was the last step for my regression to being like a baby.

I asked her why she wanted me to be a baby, and she said that she would explain that another day.

The injections had a huge effect on me. What I noticed was that after a day, I was beginning to lisp. This was annoying especially when Noah said that I sounded like a little toddler now. The worse thing is that my muscles got weaker. This meant that it was getting harder and harder just to stand up. Noah suggested that I crawl, and to be honest this was much easier.

Noah was a normal boy and did things that normal boys would do. As for me, the general had slowly been regressing me to be like a toddler baby. Now I used diapers, and pacifiers and the baby bottle. I even slept in a crib. My hair was even like toddlers. It was always in pigtails. The only thing the general could not change was my body. I would bet he would make my body shrink in size if he could. Now I lisped when I spoke and I could hardly stand up. I was a baby and the strange thing is that deep down, I accepted it and even liked it.

The nurse spoke with me one day after she changed my diaper. She told me that I was now basically a baby. She told me that I was the only child that had to experience this. Why would someone try and make a normal 12-year-old act and think like a baby? The nurse smiled and said that does not matter. It was also the wrong question that I should ask myself. I should ask if I was happier as a baby?

When she went, Noah said she was screwing with my mind. What 12-year old would be happy at being a baby again? I said nothing but thought the nurse could be right. I was happier now. As a baby, I did not have to worry about how I should look or what was cool and what was not. It was annoying that I wore diapers, but in a way, I liked when people took care of me. I liked playing with the toys and even missed when the pacifier was not in my mouth. I also liked that Noah was like a big brother and protected and took care of me.

The nurse was right. I allowed them to change me so I was now a baby.

The general visited and told Noah and me that he was proud of us. “You two were never bad children. It is true that I thought you were both brats when first came to the camp. Then I noticed your parents really did not want you to go home. They had no clue how to be parents. You had parents that could not accept that you were nearly teens. They sent you to camp hoping that you would come back to them submissive like zombies. This makes them bad and it was them that needed help. I could see that you two were good and you needed something better with your life. So I tried to bring you two together and break down some of the stubbornness you had. Do not listen to people when they say you were bad or unwanted.”

This was a strange speech. If the general thought I was a saint, then why did he torture me so much. I would never forget the hell he put me through at the camp. I would never forget when he yelled at me, starved me, locked me up and so many other things. The truth is that he should be in jail for what he has done! He was a psycho. One day he was evil and then he was nice. He constantly was trying to mess with our minds. Noah was right, how could we trust him?

Maybe he was right about one thing. It did not seem like my mother loved me or wanted me. I remember I told her that I hated her when she sent me to camp. I was mad at her and still could get mad at her when I remembered she sent me here. I tried being good when she sent me home, but she just sent me back. She now had a new family and did not even worry about what happened to me. It seemed to me that mom just erased me from her life.

I had a tough decision to make, but mom made it easier. If she did not love me any more or want me anymore, then I would no longer consider her my mother. She decided that she no longer wanted me as a daughter, so I decided that I no longer wanted her as a mother. As far as I was concerned, I was an orphan.

The general came back later and told us that it was the time that we found out what would happen to us.

“This camp makes money on parents sending us their brats.” he said, “but through the years, I always had financial difficulties. My wife likes to spend money. So I have had a side business. It is not totally legal, but the police and press are friends and I never get in trouble.”

I did not know what to say, My mind was still confused at the fact that this man was married.

“Many couples across the world cannot have children,” the general continued, “So I help some of these adopt children. This may sound mean, but these children are not wanted by their parents or loved. I help teach the children discipline and then find them happy homes. The public does not know this. Once in a while, a child goes missing from the camp and they are never found again. The public doesn't care, as these children were bad apples anyhow and no one wanted them. The public thinks these children are dead or are on the streets in the big cities, but thanks to my work, these children are happy with new families.”

Noah asked does this mean that he sold children?

“Selling is such a harsh word. I provide a service. Now it is your turn to find happiness at last. You both have been through hard times, and it must be very hard for you to hear that your families no longer want you. However, I have a family that wants you both. You will be brother and sister. This family had a daughter that died. Because their daughter was so sick, she was basically treated like a baby. They requested a girl that acted and thought like a baby. This is why you have regressed, Heidi. I am sure they will love and cherish you and at some stage, train you so you can be a big girl again. The big thing is that you will be wanted!”

This was a lot to understand and accept. I was being sold to some parents.

“As for you Noah,” the general continued, “The new parents also wanted a son who would be a good big brother that protects and loves his little sister. Your new parents are coming soon and then you will not see me anymore. I know that you will be happy as brother and sister!”

The general let me go out to a small garden and weed. I always found peace in a garden with dirt and plants, but this was hard. My muscles were so weak that I could not even stand. I ended up sitting in the middle of the garden as the general's words sank in.

The general sold children to childless parents and hoped everyone would be happy. This was against the law and no one ever did anything to stop it. I bet that the police and even the media knew about it and never lifted a finger. The general could be right. Society thought we were future convicts and did not care about us.

The general had this planned for a long time. The problem is I was never asked. I was never asked if I wanted to be regressed to a baby again. I was never asked if I wanted to be sold to the highest bidder!

It is like I was not even a human. I felt more like a commodity in a shop and someone would buy me. I was not even sure if the new parents would love me or want me. Maybe they just wanted me to replace their daughter that was sick.

Noah came and sat down next to me. He was happy that we were allowed outside. He told me that the plan was not bad. We could meet a nice couple that loved us. We would escape the general and never see him again. The best thing is that we would be brother and sister. Noah could see nothing wrong with the general's plan.

It was not like we had a choice. A few days later, the general appeared with a man and woman. He told us it was time to go.

He said this man and woman were our new parents.

_**To be continued** _

_**Share and comment. You can also follow me to get notifications when I update. I love keeping in contact with people that comment or follow me. Thank you – Alexander Temple** _


	5. Happiness

The man, who was supposed to be our new dad looked nice with a suit on. He seemed quiet and shy. I suppose I could understand him, as he was about to adopt two children that he never met before. He most also knew that the adoption was illegal and this must have worried him. He looked like a film star and I could see that he had a kind face.

The woman looked like John F. Kennedy's wife. She had a nice suit on and even gloves on her hand. I also noticed that she had teary eyes but had a nice smile. This woman was now my new mother. No one asked me if I wanted to be her daughter. Now I had no choice. Once again, I had to make the best of things. All I knew is that if I was negative, I would be having a bad time.

My new father lifted me up and put me in a stroller. I thought that this was strange but in a way, it was good as I could hardly walk and did not want to crawl all the way out of the warehouse.

We said goodbye to the general. This was also strange as he was the one person that inflicted so much pain on me and confused me at the same time. He was both evil with me and nice to me. He was a man I wanted to trust and yet could not trust. I said goodbye to him not out of politeness, but it was a way that I could convince myself that the general was gone from my life.

We went to the airport. Noah was so excited while I had some anxiety in me. Noah was delighted that he was free and back in the big world. I, on the other hand, kept on thinking that I was isolated and secluded in a warehouse for a long time. I was not used to being out in public and with so many people. I concentrated on the pacifier in my mouth.

The airport was full of people and my new dad was pushing me around in the stroller. I noticed that everyone stared as they saw me. I don't blame them, as it must be strange seeing a 12-year-old sitting in a stroller with a pacifier in her mouth. I was both embarrassed and defiant, as I kept on saying to myself that this was the way I now was. I was a baby in a big girl's body. The people at the airport did not know how I was changed. This made me wonder what they thought about me.

Our new home was in a small village on the other side of the country. We lived in a big house in the middle of nowhere. My new parents were not millionaires, but they had more than enough money. Dad was a lawyer and mom stayed at home.

The house was big and had fancy antique furniture. Noah had his own room and it was so cool. He had everything that he ever wanted. He had video games and all the toys he ever could use. He also had a new wardrobe of clothes. They were designer clothes and I guessed he would never be teased for the clothes he wore. It made me smile seeing Noah run around the bedroom excited at everything he saw. He gave our new mom and dad a hug and said that he was glad they adopted him.

I was taken to my room and it was no surprise that it was a baby's nursery. It was pink and had a crib and changing table as well as loads of toys. Like Noah, I had lots of new clothes. They were not anything a 12-year-old would wear but were so pretty and there were so many. I knew I would have lots of fun with the toys.

My new mother sat down next to me and said that she did not expect me to accept them as parents or even love them. This was all new for us and it would take time to adjust. I wanted to ask her if she felt bad that she bought me like someone would buy milk in a shop. However, I could see she was trying to be nice to me and not demanding that I love her. I smiled and promised I would do my best at being good and the daughter they expected.

“We do not expect you to be anything,” she said, “We want you to be yourself and we want you to be happy. We had a daughter that lived like a baby and the camp said so do you. Maybe this is one reason why we picked you. This does not mean we want you to be her or even replace her. She is now in heaven and cannot be replaced. You are here and have your own personality. So just be yourself.”

I found it hard to call them my parents and say mom and dad. The lady left me in the room and said that I could get settled in.

Noah came into the nursery and had a huge smile on his face. He told me that he was so excited about everything that was happening. He asked me if it was nice that at last someone wanted us. I just smiled. The fact was that I did not believe that I found happiness. I expected to be punished or tortured at any time or at worse sent back to the general. It was hard for me to accept that my life would finally be happy.

The lady came up to us and said we were not prisoners in the house. We could go out and play if we wanted. This was also something that we had to get used to, that we were not confined to a small room.

The first day at our new house was so fun. Noah and I played outside most of the day. I loved the fresh air and even though I could not really walk, I spent most of the time in the sand. It was also nice seeing Noah smile and run around. He was playing with a ball and was on a gocart speeding around the garden. I never saw him smile or laugh so much and this made me think that I only knew him when we experienced the worse things at camp. Now I could see another side of Noah and I liked it. I was so happy that he finally found happiness.

Dinner was great. We sat down as a family and even said prayers before we ate. The lady was a great cook. We talked a lot as we ate and I never smiled or laughed so much.

Our new dad helped us get ready for bed and he even read a goodnight story. I do not know when the last time that this happened. We also prayed before we slept which gave me a nice feeling.

The next few weeks were the best in my life so far. It was like we were at a holiday camp. The lady and her husband were nice and had a lot of time to be with us. We did a lot of things as a family. I loved when we ate candy every Friday when we saw cartoons. I could see that they really care for us and I felt wanted for the first time in a long time. Noah made things perfect. He was a great big brother and did his best to make me feel happy and feel secure.

I was still not ready to call them mom and Dad

I still had a fear in me that I could not get rid of. Where they really nice or was it just an act. Would they send me back to the camp?

I had nightmares about the camp and the general. He would continue to torture me in the camp dungeons and I would be crying and screaming about the pain. While I would be in pain, he would also be nice to me which just screwed with my mind even more. I would wake up finding it hard to breathe. When I fell back asleep the nightmare would continue. The general would tease me that I allowed him to regress me to a baby.

The lady asked me what the nightmares were about. I refused to tell her. I remember when I first went to the camp, that the general told us that if we ever told anyone, we would be sent back to the camp. The lady hugged me and told me that I was safe and no one would ever hurt me again.

One day she asked me if I liked being a baby. I admitted that I did, but I also missed being a big girl. I missed being able to walk and do things that Noah did. I even missed my cell phone, that I once had. The lady smiled and suggested I should train myself again. She would support me if I tried to get out of diapers and be a big girl again. She would also support me if wanted to stay as a baby.

I agreed that I should try and grow up. For the second time in my life, I tried to potty train. This was not that easy. It meant that I had to retrain my bladder and its muscles. I had exercises that I did and I did them when I could. Getting out of diapers would be the hardest thing I ever have done. I had so many accidents that it's embarrassing to tell about them.

My new parents also had this lady that came around. Her job was to strengthen my muscles so I could walk again. The exercises were hard, but unlike the potty training, I could see that I was getting better. The pain that the lady put me through was for my own good. I found new happiness as I could do more and more. The physical therapy meant that I could soon play with Noah and not watch him from a sandbox.

I was now used to my new family and they were the nicest people that you could ever meet. Of course, sometimes we got in trouble or Noah and I had a fight. We were not hit or tortured. We got a long speech and then given a time out. It was a relief in a way to see the new parents get mad when we deserved it. It convinced me that they were not just acting all nice. They really wanted to be our parents.

Noah accepted this and told me I should not be afraid. We were happy at our new home. Not only this, but we also met our aunts and uncles, as well as grandparents. The whole family seemed happy and it was easy to see that they loved being together. Noah and I were accepted as the new son and daughter. Grandmom even said that it was hard to believe that we were adopted.

One of the things I liked the best was helping the lady cook. We would spend hours in the kitchen while she told me how to cook hot meals and even cakes. She was a good cook and praised me for learning so fast and being good at it. I liked creating things and I liked it when others enjoyed the food that we made. It also gave me time with the lady, so we became very good friends.

After a month, I no longer needed the diapers during the day. I was now a big girl once again. The only problem I had was that I still wet the bed. The lady told me that many children wet the bed so it was not strange. I was rewarded with a new bedroom and new toys. I no longer slept in a crib! I had a canopy bed as a princess would have. I still had some old habits. I still used the pacifier at times.

I was delighted that I had clothes that girls my age wore. I remember when I first tried on a belly top. At first, I thought I was in trouble when the lady saw me with a belly top. She said that she had belly tops as well and then gave me a speech that I should respect my body, and if I ever had a boyfriend, he should also respect my body.

I thought about when my mom saw me in belly tops. She thought I was bad and just looking for trouble. I wondered did she think about me anymore or did she think I was dead. Did she miss me or did she not love me?

One day, I picked up the telephone and tried to ring to my birth mom. I could hear her voice when she answered the telephone. I had a tear rolling down my cheek. I did not say anything and hung the telephone up. She already made up my mind and decided that she did not want me.

The lady came in shortly afterward and said she had a surprise for me. She dragged me to the back of the house to a small shed. There were new garden tools. She told me they were now mine and I could have my own garden.

I gave her a hug and said, “Thanks, mom!”

I found happiness!

_**To be continued** _

_**Share and comment. You can also follow me to get notifications when I update. I love keeping in contact with people that comment or follow me. Thank you – Alexander Temple** _


	6. Hell at Boot Camp

Noah and I were happy with our new family. Mom and Dad loved us beyond limits. We may have been adopted, but we knew that we were loved and wanted. Despite how we got adopted, we were like a normal family. We had our chores and we had our fights. Despite that, Noah was the best brother anyone could wish. The story could finish here, with us finding happiness. However, life has a way of coming to a full circle.

Besides our happiness, there as always a dark side about me. A side that I had no one to talk about. I tried talking with Noah about the camp and the general, but he always changed the subject. I wanted to tell my adopted parents the truth and hell we experienced, but I was afraid. The experiences I had at RAD camp damaged a part of me. It was a dark part of my history that always reminded me that I was different than my friends. The pain from the torture I experienced always stayed with me.

Noah grew up to be a fine man. He was a coach at the high school and was married with 3 children. He was a good husband and a great father and he loved his job a lot. I was so happy at his success and in a way, I was jealous of him. He never talked about his birth mom or the time he spent at the camp. At times he even forgot he was adopted. All this made me jealous, as it must have been a gift to be able to forget.

I had many friends when I grew up. I still liked hanging in the mall and sometimes I came home a bit late. I also had a lot of boyfriends. My adopted parents did not send me to any discipline camp. We had lots of talks where they told me what could hurt me if I was not careful.

I opened a restaurant where I could cook and do what I always wanted to do. I even had a garden where I grew the vegetables that I used for cooking. I married the cook that I had employed and we now have a young son. I love my life. I love owning my own business and being my own boss. My husband was the most understanding and caring man in the world and my son was God's gift to us. This being said, I never told my husband about RAD. I didn't want him to think I was a bad apple or my soul was damaged.

We got news one day that Noah's birth mother died. Noah showed no emotion and told everyone that he did not want to talk about it. She did not want him, so he had no wish to mourn her. He considered her dead long ago when he heard she no longer loved him or even wanted her.

The death of Noah's mother affected me more and more. I thought about my birth mom and wondered if she was still alive. The memories of my life with her and the camp came flooding back. My adopted mother said I was on my way to having depression. She knew that it had something to do with camp. She explained that I never talked about it, and yet it was an unfinished part of my life. She explained that true happiness can only happen if there was a closure.

I broke down in tears and told her everything that happened at camp. I told her every punishment and torture he put me through. I told how he was nice and evil. I told her how he regressed me to a baby. I even told what he said about my mother.

“I think I should put a few things straight,” My adopted mother started, “First I was told that your mother was so sick, that she could no longer take care of you. I was told that she was a vegetable and this is why you were being adopted.”

I was in shock

“We wanted to adopt two children,” She continued, “We met the general and told him about our daughter that died. That is when he talked about you. He told us that he had a girl that was basically a teen baby. He told us that the fact that your mom was so sick, you did not want to speak to her or talk to her. Her sickness also made you regress to a baby!”

I told her that the diapers started as a punishment when I wet myself when I was locked in a cage.

“To be honest, your dad knew that the adoption was not that legal. It cost us a lot of money, but it was the shortest and easiest way to adopt. We never knew how bad he treated you or how your mother basically disowned you. I suspected that the camp was not a holiday camp, as it always was a dark side in your mind.”

None of this was my adoptive parent's fault. They were the best parents I could ever have and who knows what would have happened to me if they did not come along. We hugged each other as she told me how much she loved me and wished she knew how bad the camp was, so she could have helped me.

I decided to do something about it. I started writing a book about the camp and everything I experienced. I worked non stop for 4 months in writing the book. I must admit that it helped me a lot letting so many bad memories flow on paper. It was a huge relief when I wrote the last few lines.

When I showed my husband the book, he was in tears while he read the book. He asked if I wanted to make this public. Of course, I did! No girl should ever experience what I have experienced. These discipline camps should not be allowed!

“Hell at Boot Camp” was released and the response was something that I never could have speculated. The book was a best seller and had the government discussing discipline camps and if they should be allowed. I was on one talk show after another talk show talking about what really happened behind the camp walls. This outrage people and I am sure bought many to tears. We were not considered bad apples. We were victims.

I was worried about how Noah would take the book. His only reaction was that he supported me as it was something that I had to do. However, he did not want to talk about it.

The general was now an old man, but he was arrested. He was charged with child abuse and even murder as well as illegal adoptions. I looked at him being paraded into the police station. He did not look like he was ashamed. He held his head high as he said that he helped many bad children become good again, and something society would be proud of.

One day, I got a letter. It was from my birth mother. At first, I just put it in a drawer. However, after some days, I decided that I should read it.

*************

_Dear Heidi_

_I was shocked when I read your book. All these years, I thought you were dead. All these years, I blamed myself for you being dead. Let me say that I am so happy that you found a new family that loved you and treated so well. I hear you are a success and have a good life. I even hear that I have a grandchild._

_I should not have sent you to RAD. At the time, I was so worried about you. I was convinced that you were hanging out with the wrong girls and doing things that would get you in trouble. The sweet girl I knew was now a teenager, and she no longer needed me. I was confused every time you would be defiant or answer me back._

_I really thought that RAD would help. The general assured me that without the camp, you would end up as a junkie or teen mother. It was so hard when I left you at the camp. I kept on thinking that I was a failure as a mother. I felt like the world's worse mother when I drove away and you told me that you hated me._

_I never knew that the general punished you in the ways you wrote in the book. It did not even cross my mind that a so-called gentleman could treat a child that way. I was sure that the camp was under regulations on what was allowed and not allowed. I cannot imagine the pain you went through, and the number of times you hoped I would come and save you. I did the opposite. I left you there!_

_You finally came home and I was sure things would be better. The general rang to me all the time and said you were not ready. I did not want to send you back as I thought you were trying your best. Yet you were different and I did not know why. I did not know the pain you were in!_

_When you rang the police to tell them about the camp, I did not believe you. You needed my support most there and my reaction was to send you back to camp. When they were taking you, I was in shock. They put you in handcuffs and I never expected this._

_I never knew that I signed over custody. When I rang the general, he told me I had no right to see you and in any case, you hated me._

_Then they told me that you escaped. You wrote in your book that the general visited me where I was more interested in my boyfriend's daughter. The general never visited me! The boyfriend soon left me as his daughter reminded me so much about you. I was impossible to be with._

_I spent a lot of time looking for you. They never found your body and this always gave me hope. I searched every inch of the woods outside the camp. I never considered you were in a warehouse far away from the camp._

_I remember the telephone call. You did not say anything but I recognized your breathing and sniffing. This was the best phone call I ever had, but the saddest one as well. I knew you were alive, but I did not know what happened or where you were._

_I blamed myself. Of course, the general used my insecurities and lied to me. I was not a victim like you were. I was part of the problem. Since then. I have lived alone and went to Church every day asking for forgiveness. I often have been in depressions since._

_I will finish now. I would love to meet you, but I do not expect anything. My only hope is that one day, you will forgive me_

_I love you and am proud of you_

_Your birth mother._

*************

I could not stop crying when I read this. The general really did screw with my mind and make me believe the worse.

Noah also read the letter and he just broke down. We had a long talk about the camp and what we experienced. Noah understood that his mother could have been tricked the same way as my mother. She most likely loved him and died with a broken heart. Noah told me that we had to forgive and get on with our lives. We both had great families and great jobs. Noah told me that he had to visit his mother's grave. I went with him.

I also sent the general a postcard that said that I forgave him but what he did was so wrong and he would have the rest of his life to think about this. I concluded by writing that I was finally free while he was not! I liked having the last word.

Tonight I am making a special dinner. My husband and son will be there as well as my adopted parents. Noah and his family will be there. My birth mother will also be there.

I am free

I am no longer a victim

I am happy.

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